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Interpreting Life | Blog
Just the other day, I was enjoying the rain at 1 pm in the night, it was awesome. Just then the light on the terrace of the bungalow just opposite to my place switched on, a couple was seen enjoying the rain, in full mood. That too at midnight. I too smiled at them. And as soon as I entered back to my room from the balcony, I realised what they were enjoying in fact?
Was it the rain or the company of each other?
The next day, it was a totally cloudy pleasant atmosphere with the wind blowing in the most romantic way and I was coming from my office when a thought struck to my mind. How would it have been, if, on such a day, I was with my soul mate?
What did I actually want the good atmosphere to enjoy or the partner to be with me?
We actually don’t like the cool atmosphere or the fast rains or anything that sort. we only would have loved it if someone was there to enjoy it with us. If someone with whom we can share the beauty of that time.
Rain or a good atmosphere or a festival are all the background score of a movie; which we like to hear, but in the centre stage, we just love to see the lead actor and actress to feel the love. In the same way; we always associate our desires to all the good part as well as the bad part of life. A family together, without any occasion is still a treat to be with than enjoying an occasion without a family.
Each and every materialistic happiness depends on the people you are going to enjoy with; without them its all and the same “of no use”. In the same way; all our achievements of life are attached to the people we wish to share them with, without them they are of no use.
Life without wealth, power and many such things is a curse in the outer world but life with no happiness is a lot bigger than a curse in an inner world.
Wealth can be achieved with great efforts, but happiness cant. It can only be felt. Live life with a wealth of happiness and see how beautiful the world looks.
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The innocence of love- 4 | Short story
Finally, after a long thirst, the rain-drenched. Exams were over, and we all were happy. After the last exam, I directly rushed to her place to talk to her; but hard luck it was locked. I left. That day I called her many times in the evening but still no response. Many thoughts started to dwell in my mind all negative, but still, I tried to console myself to my shock, I received a call from Anamika at 8.30 at night. I have not expected a call at that time from her. hello Anamika, what happened? I asked
Is that you ask your friend who calls you after a month? She asked in a childish toneOh!1no no Anamika, I didn’t mean that I was too just…“she giggled.” are budhuu, I am kidding” she saidSo shall we meet. Now? I asked in shocked. Yes, why? You little girl your parents will not allow you or what, ?’” she said and again began to laugh.
Though she was teasing me, I was loving each and every word of her, even her laugh too.after a long time I was seeing her happy and I really didn’t want to spoil that. So finally I agreed and I picked her up from her place and we left for the lakeside, to have a sit and talkWe finally reached there and with her wish we went out from the car and sat on a mattress down on the mud. I witnessed her with a sigh of relaxation. She was still looking at the most beautiful girl I had ever met. I was loving her more and more. We began with the casual talks and landed back to the personal ones.
I was in no hurry to her about her decision, but this time she was. She held my hand into hers, her face rested on my shoulders and she began to say,“ abhisekh, you are the best guy I had ever met in my life. The talks we have, the times you made me laugh, the feeling we have for each other, is incomparable, .the way you treat me and respect me, I cannot expect that from any other person.
That day you told me how much you love and respect me. I thought about that entire reading vacation” I was slowly feeling a few negative thoughts in betweenShe continued“I realized about that, but with much thought in that, I found that love and commitment are two different sorts of things. To be in commitment never always guaranteed love, you can see that in my parents,20 years of marriage, but still no sort of affection between them.
And similarly, no true love always requires a committed relationship to prove its love. Sometimes certain love stories are always better when left apart from a relation. Their purity remains as it is without getting destroyed ” when Rajit went from my life, I realized life is not always what we think, and love is not always what comes in a relationship. Time is changing and so are relations, and with you, I don’t want to destroy the relation which we already have.”Saying these words, she embarrassed me in her arms and began to cry.
I consoled her, though I myself was filled with tears in my eyes, seeing her cry was not possible for me.“ I understand Anamika, for all those things you said, I will not at all force you on this topic from today, I want you to be happy, that’s the priority, rest if anything can happen we will definitely see.”We tightly hugged each other after that we left for home, and for the 1st time that night, I cried entirely.
I wasn’t able to stop the only girl from going out of my life. I was feeling guilty. All those good memories were flashing the entire night. The next few days were very hard for me. I made myself totally isolated from the outer world for a few weeks. Day and night my room was the only place to enjoy for me. Even mom and dad were tensed, so they called Tarun and Navin to ask about me. But both of them handled my situation telling that I was just having a relaxation as school is completed. Finally, I came out of my home the day results were declared and we all were passed. My dad hosted a party in that name, and everyone was invited. That day I was a bit relaxed hearing that Anamika passed with very good marks.
As a result, came, all got busy searching for good colleges. In my case, dad had already done that thing, thanks to his contacts. So I was just relaxing a bit more. In weeks both Tarun and Navin got admission in college outside Gujarat. Anamika too shifted to Chennai for her college,(I got to know that from Navin). As Tarun and Navin too left from Ahmadabad, the next day I just went online to check my mail. To my surprise, the last one was from Anamika, mailed an hour backThe mail stated: “Abhisekh! I really don’t know why to refuse you, but I know I can’t accept you.
But still Whenever some1 in any part of the world will ask me, what love is, I will answer in 1 word “Abhisekh my flight is about to leave in an hour. I will cry if I see you, I will feel like a guilty person, so it’s better without thinking about life, we leave it as it is and see what doles out of it” bye take care. “EpilogueThe phone rang, which brought me out of the sweet innocent memories of the life which had passed, and tears felt with a smile on my face. I walked down and left for my office.
Certain love stories never get completed, they just get purer with time
The innocence of love- 4 | Short story
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The innocence of Love-3 | Short Story
It was 20th December I remember still as it was her birthday, I always wished her the previous night, but since I hadn’t talked since many days, I thought to call her up the next day, so around 1:00 I was going to sleep. I turned my phone to silent mode and was about to land on my bed and suddenly the light from my mobile flashed on the ceiling. Then, I saw it was from Anamika’s landline. I was shocked and in that state, I picked it up.
“hello”- I said
“abhisekh, it’s my birthday and you haven’t wished me, do you actually know that?—came the voice from the other side. “oh, yes, I am sorry Anamika. I know that, but I thought to call you tomorrow morning as I thought you might be busy with your friends and Rajit and all.” you, dumbo!!!from when have you started to think this much”—she replied“we both giggled”,
“by the way Anamika, what happened, sudden call at 1:00. Is everything ok”“abhisekh, cant I call you any time, I wish?—she asked you can, I just asked Anamika.
For the next second, it was pin-drop of silence, and then suddenly she stated“abhisekh, you are a really good person and a good friend too” I knew something was wrong as she wouldn’t have called me at that time just to praise me. But I found that time better to hear what she say.
What happen Anamika, why are you sounding sad?—I asked. No, abhisekh, I am not, just I realized that so thought to call you.no worries will talk tomorrow and she cut the phone.
I was not in the state to call back at her home, as she didn’t have a cell. So I better slept and thought to talk in school the next day.
The next day came and passed as it never existed because she hadn’t come that day. People thought that It might because of her birthday, but I knew what was going through her. As soon as school ended, I turned my bike towards her place, and without waiting for the lift I headed with stairs and reached the 4th floor.
Opening the door, her reactions were shocked as I was not expected there. She made me come in and was still shocked to see me.“abhisekh, I know you might thinking about yesterdays call, I am sorry for that, I was just off mood so I called you. Really sorry for that” –she explained me entire episode in 1 statement“Anamika, you look beautiful”—all that I said to her, as I was totally lost in feeling her through my vision. She started laughing and asked for some snacks.
I nod my head and she went to bring in the kitchen. We talked while having snacks, and with my lot of pressurizing to tell me what happened the last time, She replied“I had a break up” I was stunned and was having mixed feelings all at the same time and Was sad as she was, but inside firecrackers were on a row. As we were eating, she said me the entire story of her problems of relationship and happy moments (which I was not at all interested). As I was hearing her, I don’t know why, but my urge to love her was increasing. Each word of her, each expression was indirectly making me feel for her more and more.
I had asked her some years back, but that was a sort of intuition, but this time it was different. I was sure of that. We were done with snacks, and I was sitting on the sofa, speechless. It was not that I didn’t have anything to ask her, but I was totally lost thinking about her so without uttering a word, I bid her goodbye and left her place.
That night I didn’t sleep, I was really feeling her along with I was feeling the sadness of her. I would have been seen her happy with Rajit too, but seeing her sad was not possible for me. So, I decided to do something and was ready to take some step the next day. I didn’t go to the school that day, and directly at noon, I went to Anamika’s place. I knew her parents would be at home, but I needed to talk to her.
“ hi auntie”- I said as her mother opened the door.“Hi, beta Ji how are you, come in she is upstairs”—she replied with her usual smile. I had met her many times in school in parents meeting, and if Anamika is to be believed she thinks that I am a very good guy and often urges Anamika to keep in touch with me.
I receive such good reviews very rarely so I was actually enjoying it. With some talks with her mother, I climbed the stairs, to her terrace. She was sitting on the swing in her yellow tee and a long frock sort of dress, anyhow she was looking awesome to me.“abhisekh? how come, you haven’t gone to school today?”Naah was not interested to go, and I expected from you too” yeah. I too was not interested.”—she replied. I sat on the swing, beside her, and after a long pause of 10 minutes I asked,
“Anamika, I am actually feeling for you yaar. Yes, I was sudden. I know you might take it as a joke or like that, but I am actually feeling that. I know I had asked you this year back too.
But I was not that mature enough to understand what love actually is. But at this point, I am realizing how much important you are to me, how much I love you and feel for you.”She was hearingly it with silence on her face. I knew this was not the right time to tell her, what I was telling, as she had a break up a day before, but I was not able to handle those feelings with me either.
“I know abhisekh, I can understand your feeling, as I actually passed through all these .”But to respond to your thing, I don’t think this is the right time to deal with all that stuff now, and I am more worried about your studies than any other thing. You are giving the least attention to your studies, which I got to know from your marks. Abhisekh please study, please give your time to that please.”—she requested.
We just have a month left for exams, and we will have a vacation. During that vacations, we are not going to talk, and you will concentrate on your future, promise me”—she said with tears in her eyes.
I was not in a position to deny her wish. So I actually agreed to what she said. Time waits for none, and it didn’t wait for me too. The reading vacation started and I was totally lost in books, which was not totally just half for that. I tried to concentrate on studies but at the end, ended up in her thoughts. Slowly I tried to concentrate on the studies more and also allotted Navin to get me the news of Anamika, as I was not allowed to talk to her. Slowly I got addicted to books too.
I got confidence and was getting interested in studies too. Days went and exams came. I was happier as it will make me able to see her. With full confidence, I went to school for exams, but to my fate was not able to see her; even a glimpse of her. I appeared for the exam with a dull mood. The exam went well and coming out I repeated the same thing of waiting for her at the entrance gate. She was no were still. Later I asked Navin and he informed me that she already left before everyone.
He told me that Anamika had completed her paper early and left as she was supposed to go out with her parents. The rest of all exams of mine and Anamika were in different schools so I was not that much excited to go for the exams as the first day.
………………………………………………To be continued
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The innocence of love | Part 2 | Short story
June 2007 12th grade began. Yes, I was happy, more than anyone else. After my drastic end to the last grade, I finally passed and was promoted to 12th science. This was not the sole reason for my happiness, I was about to meet Anamika after a long period of 30 days(yes at that time this was a long period for me as neither I was able to call her, nor could see her). So with much eagerness and anticipation, I got ready and walked down to school. It was more than 15min, and I was sitting in the class waiting for her. But still, she wasn’t there. All the formal handshakes and hugs with so-called friends were already over, but my wait wasn’t.
After so much waiting, I was happy, smiling, and daydreaming as I am used to with. She entered. Miss Anamika Iyer entered; filling my heart with a lot of anxiety, eagerness and happiness. She came and sat on my adjacent seat and made my day with a sweet innocent smile. As I approached her to talk, sir entered(that’s my usual fate). I passed the entire half session waiting for a “Hi”, which never came till the recess bell rang and I felt relaxed. I was so frustrated for not being able to talk to her since a month that I was about to ask her number there and then only.
Recess came, and getting free from my group I directly went and approached her.“ hi, how are you, I was really missing our talks, firstly give me your number”—-she said she said first and I found myself late in this matter too was standing there just hearing her sweet voice, after a long time, with a smile on my face. I was actually loving her voice. After the realization that I was looking like a dumb fellow, I responded” Hey, I too missed the fun, And yes I was about to take your number only. So how was your vacation,?—I asked.
It was great me, Rajit and all had great fun. How about you?- She asked was about to answer that I too had great fun, but was not able to as soon as I heard Rajit, in her enjoyment.
Yes. Mr Rajit Varma my classmate and Boyfriend of Anamika. I was her friend, a good friend or we were “just friends”; Unlike Bollywood in my case, just friends held to be true in its meaning.
I and Anamika were friends for 5 long years. And to my fate, we were still friends. we both joined school together. As we moved to higher standards our friendship grew, and along with grew our closeness. Even at 1 point of time in 10th grade, we felt like we were committed, but she cleared her feeling that there was nothing much and with no discussion, I agreed. The next year, I was shocked to hear about her relationship with Rajit, I even had a bad verbal fight with her over that matter, which continued nearly a year and then she came back to me in talking terms only.
So, she was in a relation with Rajit, and I was her very close friend. That’s it. As our school progressed I got engrossed with my studies friends and her. After officially receiving her phone number I was feeling good, and so we called each other many times. The most common talk I would do was praising her and what she used to do was about RAJIT. I actually didn’t know how to respond to that, but in actual I was loving her talks, so I ignored the content.
Time was actually flying, we were flooded with exams and small quizzes and board pressure. So we had less time to talk, in school and even outside; and whatever time we had was passed with Tarun and Navin in my case and with Rajit in her case.
The innocence of love | Part 2 | Short story
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The innocence of Love | Short Story-1
A boy and girl met in school and fell for each other. Love began along with began problems and finally, they met against all odds and all were happy endings.
4 friends, a school life, break-ups and patch-ups, smoking, drinking, creating a mess, solving it and again all ends with a happy note i.e. a long term girlfriend, a degree and also a job in an MNC. But not every story begins there and ends with a happy note. At least it wasn’t mine for sure. Life was best for me even before I tasted life at school. It was not only best I can say it was great. I even term them as the best days of my life
“We are here to learn and live, we are here to love and forgive, And in this life, we have days when we laugh and cry, Sometimes we are full of energy and sometimes dry, Yet we describe them as the best days of our life,
And they are termed as “The School Days” of my life”
These days gave me friends to rely upon, principles to follow in the life ahead, people whom I can respect in the true sense and also love “A true love” to remember and to miss. Life was as good to me as it was to other with a very average childhood my life began but was it my fate or my dad’s hard work that my life blossomed with age. As time progressed, progressed my age and life too.
I was enrolled in 1 of the best schools of times. And as I crossed my secondary section I was made to change to another school especially for pursuing the science field there (I regret the field still). Oh! I still didn’t mention you about myself it’s me Abhi, Abhisekh Joshi. A 5”5’ tall(tall-just to make myself feel happy), fair looks (a bit fair) average physique, though I think every day to join the gym all efforts go in vain. And yes that’s all. Apart from this, the only thing that can draw your attention towards me is my talkativeness as well as my sense of humour (which I consider good)
Jan 2012 After getting bored totally by sitting, shemal came to my place.“hey Abhi, I finally had a break up” Shemal saidWhat? Why? I asked shockinglyYeah. Don’t overreact. She was not girlfriend material, and after 2 months I realized that. So finally we are separated.“I actually thought you loved her”- I said yeah, I did. But now I don’t love her, and I am so frustrated with all the relationship issue, that I really don’t want to mess up myself again entering into it for some time. Stating this shemal left from my place but not from my mind.
“What was that he actually told me? How come the definition to love has changed so much? Why all relationships are stated to be in love when actually there is not even a bit of love included in it?
Love is only considered when you both are into a relationship?Why?”
As soon as I typed these statements on my blog, I was lost in my past, not the 1st time, I many time miss my past, but this time It was somewhat serious, I was crying suddenly.I stood up and opened my drawer to grab the photo album of school days; I opened it and was turning the pictures from one to the other, and suddenly stopped onto one of the images. The image of me and Anamika standing side by side and smiling; for the next ten minutes I was staring that image and suddenly I witnessed my eyes were wet. Yes, tears began to drop from my eyes.
I kept the album back in my drawer and went to my bed. Tried sleeping for more than an hour, I failed. It’s not that I feel like this every day, but neither do I hear about love and breakups every day too. I don’t miss her any more, or at least I try to do that. But whenever I hear about love being misunderstood or misinterpreted; I miss her.
More than her I miss the love without any relation which we shared. Or what love actually should be. I was slowly going into my life 5 years ago, my life of joy, my life of true happiness, my life of love, my life with Anamika and also my life of separation, my life of ignorance, and into the life without my life.
……………………………………………To BE Continued Tomorrow
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