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When “Moving On” can hold you back
Moving On | The Huffington Post
There exists a world as seen by us. Each of us is a minuscule part of that world, and we are all struggling. We think about hardships, relationships, unfulfilled aims and many other things which in some way or the other are not acceptable to us, but still, we live with them and carry on, accepting that some things will never change.
But our world doesn’t end there. Inside of us exists another world, a world larger than the one outside. In this inner world, our thoughts are felt in a deeper way. It’s a world where pessimistic thoughts give way to the hope that there will be better days if we only wait for them. This is the world of hope and patience.
We are a part of a fast-paced and dynamic ecosystem where our wishes are fulfilled through a mere touch of a smartphone screen. Our relationships are public property, to be “shared” with friends and strangers. Often times, love begins, progresses and even ends on social networking sites. We hardly have the time to think about what went wrong or how to make amends or learn from mistakes. The mantra is to “move on” and forget all about past experiences.
But is it truly possible for us to move on from each and every action, aim, past, guilt or regret?
Can we really forget that past which we once thought held the key to our future?
The answer is NO. It is not possible to move on.
The striking thing about humans is that we never grow up. Our looks change, expressions change, habits change but one thing remains the same. It’s our heart. At 25, our heart is just the way it was when we were five. A five-year-old child cries for whatever it is he wants, regardless of how realistic it is to expect that wish to be fulfilled. All the child knows is that something felt good and it must be had. Twenty years on from then, nothing changes. We crave for things, for people whom we love but are far from us. Try to grasp at them and when they slip away, we feel very low even if we don’t show it. We tend to move on superficially, but our heart seldom keeps up.
Similar things happen when we are in love. We have good days in love to cherish and bad days to regret. There are times when we feel stuck in circumstances and patterns of behavior and things refuse to go the way we want. We don’t know what to do. In such situations we can only wait and hope for things to get back on track.
But after a while we start to lose hope. Our patience disappears. And we give up. It is difficult, it is painful, it is harsh to give up on something which we actually loved and desperately wanted. We start acting as if we have left the love behind and we are just fine. But the fact is we are not. Inside us, the wish for this love to return continues to linger.
So if we can’t let go of someone or something in our minds, why do we abandon all hope of actually getting them?
What we fail to realize in such scenarios is that there are things which take time. Certain phase does change, many people do come around, and many times things definitely move in our direction — if not now, then later. Never ever regret your past, and if it is worth regretting, then never let it be your past.
To move on, to give up, to succumb to exhaustion will never give us what we truly want. We craved, we tried, we waited, we even prayed… and then what? We stopped hoping, we stopped waiting, and yet certain desires stayed even as others came and were lost.
Why not be patient and hope?
The world never belonged to the people who ran fast and jumped from one thing to another because the first attempt took too much time. The world always belonged to the people who trusted their love, their belief in their work, waited patiently and saw what was wrong with what they were doing, made changes and continued to improve instead of changing their beliefs and aims. That’s what made them reach their highs.
Our life is based on the hope of survival. We don’t know how long we will be alive, but still we breathe. Still we hope to live long, we have the patience to wait until it all ends. We think, act and take measures, but in the end hope and patience are integral parts of whatever we do.
Don’t let the hope in you die, don’t let the patience slip away.
Moving On | The Huffington Post
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Published at : Huffington Post
http://www.huffingtonpost.in/aakash-joshi/the-world-of-hope-and-pat_b_8477096.html
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I am a coward |Article |The Huffington Post
I am a coward | Article | The Huffington Post
I respect women; actively participate in candlelight marches for rape victims. I write Facebook posts supporting women’s empowerment and liberation; project myself as a man of the changing world and try to embody its evolved approach towards women.
I strongly believe that no woman deserves to be attacked or humiliated for any reason: not for the clothes she wears or for how late at night she chooses to be out. She is still the same person with the same dignity and self-respect that she is at noon or midnight, in a mini-skirt or sari. These are my views. Yet, when I introspect and look into the depths of my heart, I realize I don’t believe enough in my own beliefs.
When after a tiring day at work, I make my way back to my home, I sometimes go over my own convictions, which I often relay passionately to other people. But have I convinced myself enough? As I knock the door of my home and see my mother’s face, the confusion lifts and I get my answer.
I am a coward.
I am a man who fears everything. A man who waxes eloquent (with full sincerity) on women’s liberation, but finds it difficult to practice what he preaches in his own home.
When I reach home late at night and don’t find my sister there, I start calling her, asking her whereabouts and when she will return. I stare alternately at the wall clock and door until she comes home. It gets worse. Sometimes, I ask my mother to adjust her sari more modestly when she goes out and I am uncomfortable when my love’s top has a low neckline or threatens to reveal her midriff.
To the outer world, I project myself as an open-minded person. I tell the women in my life that they are free to do what they want; as and when they want, but deep in my mind and heart I don’t feel the same. I do not try to restrict them from doing anything but I do keep a careful watch on their actions. I know this might be wrong and irritating for them many times. They might get upset with me or even feel embarrassed by my behaviour. Yet, I cannot help myself because I know what the men on the street are like and that I cannot exercise any control over them. The only thing the men out there need is an excuse. I really don’t want the women who are a part of my life to be that excuse.
That there is a mindset problem in India is well-documented. Irrespective of how much we learn, we see or we practice, we men tend to have an inflated sense of self, a feeling of superiority just by dint of our gender. We find it challenging to accept that a woman can be better than us or outperform us. Even the concept of equality doesn’t sit quite right. As a result, many men feel that it is their duty towards their gender to bring down women a peg or two, reduce them to victims.
Published in : The Huffington Post
I too am a man residing in the same culture, with many of the same influences. I am the same guy who, along with his friends, stares at a “hot” girl walking on the road. But of course I won’t lose control of my mind and body and force myself on a girl. I know my limits. I too have a family and when I see them, I take my limits in a more serious way.
Life is a complete cycle. The way I see society and the opposite gender is the same way society looks at my home, my sister, my mother and also at my love. This realisation makes me fearful. It makes me mend my actions and my way of looking at the world.
I don’t think that women will ever be truly empowered until men are. Until the way we think changes, our progress will always be incomplete, the road to equality half-paved.
But right at this moment I am a frightened man. I am frightened of society. I fear for my family. To deal with that fear I keep tabs on them, stop them from doing certain things, stop them from going to certain places and stop them from going out after a certain time. This is not because I think they are weak, but because I want them to be safe. I love them, I care for them. I can be open-minded and embrace every definition of freedom out there, but deep inside I know I cannot change because my love and fear for them will not let me. If this makes me a coward, then I am one.
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URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.in/aakash-joshi/i-a-coward-man_b_8017382.html
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Give TIME to get a DIME | Life Blog
Give TIME to get a DIME | Life Blog
Standing at this stage of life, just after a year of completion of my bachelors and witnessing the life around me, we are seeing people confused, frustrated and spoiling their present for the future which even does not have dependability too; makes me realize what are actually we doing?
Are we really living life or just leaving it?
This age has given us a lot of worst things to ponder upon.
- A bad past to regret upon,
- A mediocre present to hate and
- A hope of better future to think for.
And to its irony we are pondering on all of the 3.
We have stopped to live the life and doing our work; for which we actually came into existence and the time which is given to perform in life is invested in a lot of thinking. We have just passed a year after college and we are burdening ourselves with what bad can happen to us or what can happen to us?
What if we don’t get the desired income from our job? What if we don’t got a best b school to study in? Why am I doing this work? What am I doing in this college? Is this life worth living? Is this good age to get married?
And I am asking, is this actually a time to think all this?
The typical mentality of our society which makes us realize too early that we have to handle the responsibilities of our families as soon as we get out from education and this leads to spoiling of our life before we enter in this actual world
Did we actually knew in primary section that will come in secondary sections?
Did we actually knew in 10th standard what will follow in 11th,
And same did we actually knew what all we will do in college years.
The answer is : NO
When we entered from primary – secondary-college, we got to know everything as we experienced it. So why do we need to be conscious about our future before time? It’s this mentality of burdening ourselves with multiple responsibilities at the age of living the life of our dream. That holds us back, stops us, and makes us a man of thought and just thought without actions.
We are the new born children’s in the new world, so why don’t we live like the newly born though in a bit mature way. Why don’t we enjoy our present work without thinking what it will lead in future? Why can’t we still live a life which we can enjoy, which we can love and which develops our understanding by teaching us with experience rather than imposing it on us at a early age. Earning is important part of life and same is with responsibilities but everything needs time.
Even a baby needs a minimum of 7 months to come out of his\her mother’s womb.
As we get involved in working or studying we ourselves will notice a change in our life which will make us realize what we want to do in our lives, how can we earn, how can we handle the responsibilities.
Everything happens with age and this age is not to think about what can be done, but to act on what we are doing in the best way. We don’t know whether our actions will have good results or not, but that’s life. We will learn from the results of our actions and move ahead in a better way, but pondering upon will not lead to anywhere
The time that is going on is such that the struggles in life have increased and the outcome of the struggles has become slow and steady. I fee that everyone wants to run fast, but in this running, they don’t remember the one who runs fast, gets tired early and to go long walk taking time, realizing each and every moment of life understanding it and enjoying it.
——– In short : Give time to get a dime
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Fun Facts at the age of 24.
Fun Facts at the age of 24
- Firstly be thankful to GOD as 1, 53,000 people die every day and at this age and you are still alive and reading this.
- Irrespective of whether you move or not, life will definitely move on; and so better rush. Don’t wait
- People will come, spend time with you and will go away. So no need to wait for them.
- You will have break-ups in your relations, your girlfriend/ boyfriend might double date on you, or even she might get engaged to some rich guy/girl. Smoking and boozing might become your happiness. Then don’t think it’s filmy and anything will change. It’s totally acceptable, and you have to believe it, live it with it and move on.
- You will trust people, have blind faith in them, and they will break it. So what, you haven’t signed a Trust contract with them. So none of you was liable to keep it for a lifetime. Go ahead with your life and enjoy.
- You will do well and feel proud, you will do badly and regret and also will be sorry for it. But in either case, people are not liable to praise you or accept your sorry, so don’t worry. Just go on and do well and try to avoid bad things again. Follow the cycle in a better way, that’s life.
- At this age of 24, many of your friends are married or are about to get married. And you don’t have the slightest of “why” and still you only think “Why People marry so early?” Trust me that might be the problem with age not with us.
- At this age, the girls with whom you used to flirt for long hours, rarely might have a talk with you. And even if they do, the only discussion you both have is a “Hi” and “How are you” and that too because they too have goals in their life and boyfriends too. Then leave it, you can’t do anything in it
- You might be still single. So no issue with that, you might enjoy that stage by laughing out loud on people who are suffering in relationships or just had breakups.
- At 24, you are not consistent in a full-time job; neither you have converted a college for M.S. in the U.S. or elsewhere and nor converted a good B School in India, and you are juggling to make yourself set in any one of them. Don’t feel sad and lonely; trust me I am with you.
- At 24, at your home, you only hear what your 1st-2nd or 3rdor so on numbered cousin have achieved and you don’t know what to react and you just leave out from your home, again trust me I am with you.
- Sooner or later at this age, you will realize that packages were not meant only for travel and honeymoon packages, even daily you will hear about people getting different salary packages.
- None of your crushes is any more your crushes, many of them might be not even in your contact and even if some are in your touch than that’s only because you might have attended their wedding and have a photograph of that marriage with you. So what one day you too will be married. Relax.
- At 24, you might be spending hours and hours of your day, not even checking your cell phone. Though you already know that neither there is anyone special to text you and nor there is any important work that people can ask from you, and even after checking it later you prove yourself right. In that case, no comments.
- At this age, you sit idle for hours and you have neither a friend as free as you are, who can waste his/her time with you for the whole day nor do you have a girlfriend, who can chat with you or worry about you. I know it might be frustrating, but again no comments.
- You meet some of your friends every evening at 8.00 and you all discuss what you should do to make it big or make it large in your life along with feeling that the system is wrong and you spend the next 5 hours in it, before falling asleep, and this becomes a cycle every evening. Then for sure, something might be wrong with you.
- You will love someone, with a feeling of contentment and in many cases, it ends with the sadness of not seeing a future with them. But that’s a part of life. Feel it, live it and move on
- There will be days when your mornings will begin at 12.00 pm and good nights will start at 3.00 am. That’s the best life you can have, so enjoy that phase.
- Pocket money is no longer a serious concern, because anyhow with the so-called “pocket money”, you will not be able to do anything. So, just start a job to spend more.
- You will see people of your age, travelling in different cars, and all luxurious accessories, and you still on the same 10-year-old, family vehicle. Promise yourself that at your age your child will be in a better condition.
- You will realize that the most unwanted duffers of your school or college batch are in a good position; living a good contended life, with a good job and an awesome girl. No issue, consider it a harsh fact and believe it. You might see many such cases in the near future also.
- There will days when you will realise that the world is worried about international crises; your friends are worried about their future, your family about your sister’s marriage. And balancing monthly income and the only things that make you cautious and happy are good food and good books, a good television series and sleep. So what!! That is the best thing. Enjoy
- Your night will pass thinking about the future and will scare you out, and still, the only step you will take will be to update that thought on Facebook. So what!! Who knows that might make you someday a good writer.
- And Finally, at the age of 24, you might have many things to work out; many plans to follow and many aims to achieve and still, you just read novels, increase your fat in your tummy, and spend time writing ” 24 Facts @ 24″.So what !! Live Your Dream, We are alive firstly to fulfil our dream only. 🙂
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The Chair Story |College Friends | Blog
The Chair Story |College Friends | Blog
– Roll no 1, no 2, no 3
We cannot define relations. They can come in different shapes, sizes, voices, looks and weirdness. But some relations are important. They are the ones that stay and become an integral part of our lives in such a way that they can neither be replaced nor forgotten. They owe a part of our life, or at times our existence to them. For me, maybe I found them in the form of Roll number 1 and Roll number 2.
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Once the faculty was done with mesmerizing the class with his words full of wisdom and knowledge, he shouted “Attendance Please.” The class started concentrating on the most important part of the lecture.
Roll number 1
“Present Sir”, said a slow, chirpy voice which hardly reached the faculty’s ears.
Roll number 2
“Yes sir”, a rather loud & enthusiastic voice which woke up the students occupying the last rows.
Roll number 3
“Yes Sir” I replied in the simplest way clearing my throat a 100 times before uttering the two words.
The roll call continued but for the 3 of us it actually stopped.
To sit roll number wise was a rule in our college. Sitting together side by side it took 6 months for us to consider the existence of each other and give it a try to say “Hi!” to each other. Why so? No one knows. But maybe each one of us was so engrossed in life outside the classroom that none gave any attention to the ones sitting by their side.
Time passed, semester changed and the only thing we knew about the one sitting next to us was their name, and of course, the roll number.
But what we did not understand is that destiny is always destined. You never know how long it takes to talk to people and how long it takes to make them your closest ones.
None of us three can recall when we started to know each other, talk to each other and like each other. But yes the day when we started, we understood that the time of 10 to 4 pm belonged to each other.
As talks started and understanding grew, a bond was formed. Once when you start knowing people and giving time to them, you realise some harsh facts coming out in front of your eyes. I realized that they were not the average kind of girls. Both of them were odd, weird, dominating, sometimes harsh, sometimes cruel, one was loud and blunt and the other silent yet verbally abusive.
By the time the third trimester passed, our smiles for each other became true and honest. The class became more than interesting. Either it was by seeing with whom the other person was chatting with; or passing comments on different girl’s hair and looks of different guys; they made me listen to many things which were illogical for me. But as long as it was their company, logic was not needed. Making me aware of who looked the best and worst or who their crush was or on whom I should try, we did all talks.
On any argument or asking them to stop their stupid talks, I was always asked to leave my seat and go elsewhere. This was because they believed that I will come back to them with no better option. On days they even made me sit like a culprit on first bench even when I was comfortable on backbenches. Popping their eyes out and widening them was a warning signal for me, implying to join them instead of wandering here and there. They argued with me, fought and sometimes even got angry, which eventually was compensated with some chocolates (yes chocolates!).
They gifted me gossip too!
It was because of them that I could keep up with all that was going on in the college, the spice. With time, the talks shifted to personal lives, playing games in each other’s mobile, seeing their old pictures and hearing their own stories of life.
Today formalities do not exist and compatibility is all what we share. Roll number 1 and Roll number 2 eventually became an integral part of my life. With all those harassments and tortures they laid on me, I eventually got immune to it all. There company is something I am most comfortable in.
The 10-4 pm lectures are over. The campus life is on the verge of ending. Farewell is already given to us. The gates are waiting just for me to carry our bags and step out of this comfort zone of ours. But maybe I am not ready right now.
I have started to miss that dominance, that odd, weird behaviour, that love I shared with them. That laughter they brought to my face, that authority they laid on me which was allowed to no one else. Maybe I want all of that now. I again want that feeling of getting ignored by them on occasions, getting beaten by them. The days when they handled all group assignments without me contributing a bit. The days when they asked me to do all on my own; I want it all again. The empty first row and the corner 3 seats are bothering me. The support, the confidence those two roll numbers had on me is something I am craving for.
I miss them..
I am still under the influence and in the aura of those two thoughts. Difficult to define them, just have a part of my life which belongs to those two.
One, a typical Jammu girl, a chubby, odd but sweet-voiced girl who had logic to talk and lame jokes to laugh at with weird tongued facial expression. I will never miss her because she will never be forgotten and will always be the first one to text and argue on random things.
And second the loud voiced innocent heart kid with an everlasting smile on her face will always be the first one to think of and smile, in tough times.
2014001, 2014002 and 2014003. We have sealed a number to our identities and coincidentally it will be there for life.
The empty chairs will be occupied by new people. But the soul and memories, we 3 had will have a classroom of our own in our hearts, which will continue to mark our ‘present’ in each lecture of our lives.
The Chair Story |College Friends
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