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I am a coward |Article |The Huffington Post
I am a coward | Article | The Huffington Post
I respect women; actively participate in candlelight marches for rape victims. I write Facebook posts supporting women’s empowerment and liberation; project myself as a man of the changing world and try to embody its evolved approach towards women.
I strongly believe that no woman deserves to be attacked or humiliated for any reason: not for the clothes she wears or for how late at night she chooses to be out. She is still the same person with the same dignity and self-respect that she is at noon or midnight, in a mini-skirt or sari. These are my views. Yet, when I introspect and look into the depths of my heart, I realize I don’t believe enough in my own beliefs.
When after a tiring day at work, I make my way back to my home, I sometimes go over my own convictions, which I often relay passionately to other people. But have I convinced myself enough? As I knock the door of my home and see my mother’s face, the confusion lifts and I get my answer.
I am a coward.
I am a man who fears everything. A man who waxes eloquent (with full sincerity) on women’s liberation, but finds it difficult to practice what he preaches in his own home.
When I reach home late at night and don’t find my sister there, I start calling her, asking her whereabouts and when she will return. I stare alternately at the wall clock and door until she comes home. It gets worse. Sometimes, I ask my mother to adjust her sari more modestly when she goes out and I am uncomfortable when my love’s top has a low neckline or threatens to reveal her midriff.
To the outer world, I project myself as an open-minded person. I tell the women in my life that they are free to do what they want; as and when they want, but deep in my mind and heart I don’t feel the same. I do not try to restrict them from doing anything but I do keep a careful watch on their actions. I know this might be wrong and irritating for them many times. They might get upset with me or even feel embarrassed by my behaviour. Yet, I cannot help myself because I know what the men on the street are like and that I cannot exercise any control over them. The only thing the men out there need is an excuse. I really don’t want the women who are a part of my life to be that excuse.
That there is a mindset problem in India is well-documented. Irrespective of how much we learn, we see or we practice, we men tend to have an inflated sense of self, a feeling of superiority just by dint of our gender. We find it challenging to accept that a woman can be better than us or outperform us. Even the concept of equality doesn’t sit quite right. As a result, many men feel that it is their duty towards their gender to bring down women a peg or two, reduce them to victims.
Published in : The Huffington Post
I too am a man residing in the same culture, with many of the same influences. I am the same guy who, along with his friends, stares at a “hot” girl walking on the road. But of course I won’t lose control of my mind and body and force myself on a girl. I know my limits. I too have a family and when I see them, I take my limits in a more serious way.
Life is a complete cycle. The way I see society and the opposite gender is the same way society looks at my home, my sister, my mother and also at my love. This realisation makes me fearful. It makes me mend my actions and my way of looking at the world.
I don’t think that women will ever be truly empowered until men are. Until the way we think changes, our progress will always be incomplete, the road to equality half-paved.
But right at this moment I am a frightened man. I am frightened of society. I fear for my family. To deal with that fear I keep tabs on them, stop them from doing certain things, stop them from going to certain places and stop them from going out after a certain time. This is not because I think they are weak, but because I want them to be safe. I love them, I care for them. I can be open-minded and embrace every definition of freedom out there, but deep inside I know I cannot change because my love and fear for them will not let me. If this makes me a coward, then I am one.
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URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.in/aakash-joshi/i-a-coward-man_b_8017382.html
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Melody in cacophony | English Poetry
Melody in cacophony | English Poetry
The journey stopped when the light went red,
Clouds were harsh, the night was dead,
The thunder was at its best, the rains were about to take the test,
Burning were the car lights, screaming were its horns,
Shouting was the entire crowd, waiting to move on.
Soon the droplets began, making the chaos at the best it can.
I was at odd, totally dry,
Unaware all those activities going nearby,
All those sounds didn’t matter at all,
I was in love at the first rain fall.
In my car I was smiling,
At the girls gossiping and giggling
At the a small boy who was laughing
The clouds which were roaring with rain,
At the voices which were going, were going in vain
Nothing was about to matter once the light would go green,
No hustle, no rustle, no anger and no screams,
It was just a glimpse of time,
To wait with patience to get the dime,
At the end, Everything was and will be same,
Hope with patience and let the time play its game.
—————–@ ramtajogi
Melody in cacophony | English Poetry
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Love | English Poetry | Blog
Love | English Poetry
Love a single word,
All have heard
Difficult to understand,
Hard to withstand
Entered my life, in form of you,
Made my life a better view
The sadness, the aches,
The sorrows , the pain
All Left me,
In no time span
Life was filled with laughter and smiles
It was you, who made it worthwhile
“Love defined in many ways,
All end in the same
For me it was just you,
And for the rest of life it will remain the same.”
Love | English Poetry
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The Love We Hate | Love Poetry
The Love We Hate | Love Poetry
With Life,
We began,
Between Family And friends,
We ran,
With happiness and sadness we were surrounded,
In this small world of ours we were grounded,
Love, than was not even in the air,
Neither did we knew, nor did we cared
But not too soon , nor too late,
Love too entered my fate,
With a sweet smile, innocent face,
She came in my life by God’s grace,
Chat’s and talks,
Moved to long walks,
Feeling arose, love came,
Whatever it was ,we never blamed.
Days were good, days were going,
It was the time we were enjoying,
Her lovely looks, her childish talks ,
In that i was totally lost.
We were good ,we were great ,
Life was at its best stage
But ,
Time was Odd
And was our fate
We left once, and never mate.
Season changed , people changed,
For whatever happened,whom to blame?
Whom to blame , for the love that lost?
Whom to blame for the feel that frost?
No one was guilty, none did the theft
It was only the love, THE LOVE that left.
And so ,
The Love we Had ,
Is now “The Love We Hate”
——————–ramta jogi
The Love We Hate | Love Poetry
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Give TIME to get a DIME | Life Blog
Give TIME to get a DIME | Life Blog
Standing at this stage of life, just after a year of completion of my bachelors and witnessing the life around me, we are seeing people confused, frustrated and spoiling their present for the future which even does not have dependability too; makes me realize what are actually we doing?
Are we really living life or just leaving it?
This age has given us a lot of worst things to ponder upon.
- A bad past to regret upon,
- A mediocre present to hate and
- A hope of better future to think for.
And to its irony we are pondering on all of the 3.
We have stopped to live the life and doing our work; for which we actually came into existence and the time which is given to perform in life is invested in a lot of thinking. We have just passed a year after college and we are burdening ourselves with what bad can happen to us or what can happen to us?
What if we don’t get the desired income from our job? What if we don’t got a best b school to study in? Why am I doing this work? What am I doing in this college? Is this life worth living? Is this good age to get married?
And I am asking, is this actually a time to think all this?
The typical mentality of our society which makes us realize too early that we have to handle the responsibilities of our families as soon as we get out from education and this leads to spoiling of our life before we enter in this actual world
Did we actually knew in primary section that will come in secondary sections?
Did we actually knew in 10th standard what will follow in 11th,
And same did we actually knew what all we will do in college years.
The answer is : NO
When we entered from primary – secondary-college, we got to know everything as we experienced it. So why do we need to be conscious about our future before time? It’s this mentality of burdening ourselves with multiple responsibilities at the age of living the life of our dream. That holds us back, stops us, and makes us a man of thought and just thought without actions.
We are the new born children’s in the new world, so why don’t we live like the newly born though in a bit mature way. Why don’t we enjoy our present work without thinking what it will lead in future? Why can’t we still live a life which we can enjoy, which we can love and which develops our understanding by teaching us with experience rather than imposing it on us at a early age. Earning is important part of life and same is with responsibilities but everything needs time.
Even a baby needs a minimum of 7 months to come out of his\her mother’s womb.
As we get involved in working or studying we ourselves will notice a change in our life which will make us realize what we want to do in our lives, how can we earn, how can we handle the responsibilities.
Everything happens with age and this age is not to think about what can be done, but to act on what we are doing in the best way. We don’t know whether our actions will have good results or not, but that’s life. We will learn from the results of our actions and move ahead in a better way, but pondering upon will not lead to anywhere
The time that is going on is such that the struggles in life have increased and the outcome of the struggles has become slow and steady. I fee that everyone wants to run fast, but in this running, they don’t remember the one who runs fast, gets tired early and to go long walk taking time, realizing each and every moment of life understanding it and enjoying it.
——– In short : Give time to get a dime
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