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The Lady with a Broken Smile | Life Blog
The Lady with a Broken Smile | Life Blog
It starts with lady
I met her on my last visit to my maternal home. She was sitting outside on a chair and reading newspaper. Seeing her, I bent down to take her blessings. She saw and braced me with a smile and tears. It was 3 years, that I had not seen her.
She kissed on my forehead and hugged me. As I sat by her side she asked me about my life. I was informing her about my present when my eyes went to her broken teeth, her burnt wrist, and her face which had grown old even in early her 40’s. She was too busy informing me things from her end, but somewhere in between, she was losing the flow of her speech as tears came and went.
I felt that she wanted to tell me many more things but somehow the tears restricted them from coming out of her. After a while, I went inside the house to meet others. Later, as I ended my day, my mind recalled all the happenings that had happened in her life, as informed by my mother to me.
She was not related to me by any direct relation but belonged to my maternal family and so we treated her as the youngest sister of my mother and so she became my aunt. In those days, marriages had a different meaning. Between the boy and the girl, the rituals were a mere obligation. As my mother got married, 2 years later some of the relatives suggested a young man with good looks and a respected family for my aunt. Also was the case that people wanted their daughter to get married as early as possible was prevalent then and so she got married as the family said.
With circumstances…
As long as everything seems right, no one turns and look towards the left. With time the clouds got scattered and the real colours of the people started coming out. In a couple of years, they started treating her unfairly and rudely. There was no reason as in why and what was going in their mind and so money became the first reason. She informed about this to her parents and brothers, who asked her to keep quiet, ignore their words and to be nice to them, which may lead to change their behaviour. She tried but nothing changed.
With time to their ignorance, she became responsive. To their insults, she countered with her blunt reply. To this, they even became more ruthless and even started beating her, whenever she argued. Many times she cried and was bruised but never informed her parents as it would even give them more tension.
Things continued from time to time. She was verbally abused, beaten and her husband would call my maternal uncle and used to ask them to take her back. They used to go there discuss the matter asked for forgiveness from her end. A decade of her marriage passed with these same things. It was always “the next time it won’t happen” from my maternal family to her in-laws and it was always “OK. Send her back then” from them.
The present…
It is more than 20 years of her marriage now. Things slowed down for some years but later began to get worst. She is left isolated in a distant room in the house. By this time she has started working in a school and pay for her living. She now argues to whatever they say, opposes them and gets beaten up many times. They even try to defame her in front of everyone by highlighting her affairs in her workplace, but nothing is true.
Lately, after so many issues, last time when they sent her back after beating her up, my maternal family directly went to the police and registered a complaint. They got frightened and pleaded for forgiveness from her. But such pleading is not new for them, they have asked this many times.
They called her and asked her to return back. She was not ready. She wanted a divorce. Her parents at this age of early ’80s were not sure about this decision. They knew her plight but they also knew the society. They belonged to it knew and how difficult it will be for a lady to survive. Bringing her back to their place was something the people of that era would rarely do.
My observation…
And so there was she; when I met her, reading a newspaper. She was supposed to leave the very next day back to her in-laws, with no other options left.
Was it her mistake that this happened to her out of the other sisters or blame to fate or so-called destiny?
Whether my maternal family lately responded or reacted to the things or was it the societal pressure responsible for their decisions?
At this age, after these many years, reasons, excuses and explanations don’t hold logic to be discussed. These are some of the instances where you cannot console people to hold their tears back. Certain event is meant to cry out and they demand tears. She is a different person now; someone broken at heart and lost at hope. She even smiles with deep loneliness behind it. Sitting in a different city and hearing about her made me a man whom I was searching for. Maybe it’s not about serving the society that defines humanity, it’s more so that you have to feel and behave like a human to be a human.
If her in-laws would have understood it them, her smile would have been more beautiful without the broken teeth and burnt hands.
Thank You.
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Published in The Times of India
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The Chaotic Mind | Poetry
English Poetry | Ramta jogi Blog
In the land of emotions,
Words cry
The pen Lies
The face speaks the vivid truth,
For every word spoken, the soul dies.
Who am I?
It is the society that takes a call,
Else, for me, it becomes difficult to survive.
The mind thinks what the eyes perceive,
Right or wrong are just let by…..
Nakedness is no more naked,
An abstract layer covers it thereby.
Each thought is justified by an ideology,
No ideology comes with a reason behind,
Blind with the eyes open, the human moved,
Who is following whom, no one asked, no one cared
Fear of diversion caged them in themselves,
Everyone knew, hence no one dared.
The “feel” in love is just shallow and hollow
Commitment now has various stages to follow.
“Cleavage” became a topic of debate
Making the soul of a Rape victim’s mother bate.
Tolerance became a point to prove,
Intolerant ways for that were approved.
Living a lifeless life, we survive
Doing things our soul doesn’t approve, we thrive
Mind, not heart, makes the eyes moist
To burst out loud and fall apart is the need.
In all this cacophony of the crowd, innocence is denied,
Unable to survive, it eventually died.
@ramta jogi
English Poetry | Ramta jogi Blog
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He who knows the alphas and betas of Life|Short Story |Life Blog
Short Story| Life Blog |He who knows the alphas and betas of Life
Beginning
All four were 3 pegs down, consciously or subconsciously having fun and in the midst of it suddenly one of them said, “Rajesh, why you teach the student this way?”
As usual in his jovial mood, Rajesh started laughing and asked “Which way?”
“I think I teach them, in the best possible way, I can. In the way in which they can understand the topic in full detail and which will help them clear the entrance exam. What’s wrong in that?”
To this, the head among them said, “Yes Rajesh, you are right. But this is creating an issue with the other faculties, who teaches them just up-to-the point, without any detail.”
“Students are comparing them with you and asking them to teach to your standards, which to some extent is becoming difficult to other teachers. So better we should have a uniform system of teaching standards”
……
Rajesh said “Do you know what are you people saying, you are saying me to change my way of teaching, not to teach them what I know and what I can explain them, just to make your other faculties comfortable?
The head replied “Rajesh, why don’t you understand? This variable teaching among the faculties in the same institution will hamper our brand and will affect our business. ”
“So what do you think? What you are asking me, won’t hamper the career the students, won’t affect them and make me feel guilty? Will it not cheating to me, if I agree to what you are saying” replied Rajesh.
The Head argued “Rajesh, every one of the department is in this favour but. “
”But not my conscience. I will better quit the job than to continue your way” replied Rajesh.
……
Hearing the word “QUIT”, everyone who was in a different world of their own suddenly came to their senses.
Another member said, “Are you guys mad? Let’s wind up for today, will have a discussion tomorrow”.
“No, the decision is fixed”, said Rajesh. I will teach my way”
“No Rajesh “, said the head,” You need to change”.
“NEVER,” said Rajesh
The next morning was a different morning for him.
Middle..
Rajesh: He Born and brought up in Delhi, graduated from NIT K, left his home a long time before he was even that much matured. With just his knowledge and an exceptional quality of sense of humour, he began his life himself. With long curls of hair, simple looks yet charming smile, with an idea of living life with peace and ease, he moved ahead, not on any desired way, but on the road which was ahead of him, irrespective of the idea of where it will lead.
An intelligent boy from a young age, Rajesh began to take personal coaching for students from the time when we were busy watching action movies and roaming here and there. By the time he entered college, he began his tuition classes for school children, with his NIT friends. His earning by himself paid for his daily expenses during college days.
He continued this way as he never thought what he had to do next. Living his life, enjoying with everyone who meets him and working on the task assigned to him. He too was a common person as others, but with a difference. Always stood up for what he thought is right, irrespective of the opposition. He walked along, fell many times in the midst of his beginning but without hesitation and without any doubt stood up again and continued in his journey. He completed his engineering and finally got placed in a firm.
……
As time passed and after changing various cities and various jobs, he got married to his long term love and then thought to get settled with his wife, here in Ahmedabad and so he landed here and started teaching Mathematics for entrance exams.
Don’t know it was God who favoured him by bringing him in the city of Ahmedabad or favoured the students here, but he was finally here in the city of Ahmedabad.
……….
And now, here he was this morning standing in a strange city, which accepted him, loved him, respected him but was not there for him at that time when he needed them. After 5 years in the city, he was there out of the job and thinking about what to do next. The only problem he felt was that he realized that what he only knew was Mathematics, how he lived his life was with Mathematics and what can make him take care of his family was also Mathematics, and so what he can only do was teach Mathematics, and the problem was the word “ONLY”.
When you are restricted to a single option, your scope gets limited, and so what he was searching was what can he do with Mathematics.
People say,
Life is difficult for us; it was even harsh to him
……..
We get sad when we get less material happiness compared to others, and there he was, who needed to fulfil his necessity for him and his family and even that thought to earn the necessity was seen difficult to him.
Many of us go to our parents and ask for money for anything that we want, and his parents were far away in a different city without any contact with him from many years, who didn’t even know what Rajesh was up to.
We find it embarrassing to speak to a stranger and there he was standing there in a strange city all alone, with his wife, asking the city now what? Thinking what next? As everything, every tie of past had ended and there was nothing he could have continued.
…….
We crave, we cry, we ask for whatever we want from everyone and there he was, whose crises, desires and wants only he knew, only he felt, and what the outside world saw was his smile and his reply to everyone “Move on, will do something.”
With his calmness, his composure, love for his work, love for each and every person associated with him, truthfulness to himself and others, he was not a man who was a part of the crowd, even in those harsh times. Even in such hard times, he was different from others. He was a shining moon, in the cluster of stars.
…….
He began to approach other institutes for work, but for every place either his level was too high for them, or theirs was too low for him. So with a smiling face, and a contended heart he returned back home. Months passed in planning what to do, but he was in a thought that something will happen. He continued his efforts, to try and implement, but as they say that certain phases of life are rough patches, travelling through them takes time, and the same was the phase he was passing through.
And so on
Then one day after two pegs down that night, suddenly he said: “Why don’t I start my own coaching classes”. That’s it. With the dreams of owning his own classes, he slept that night. Though the reality was not as easy as his last night’s thought, from the next day, he began to work in that direction. The next day, while searching for future prospects, he discussed his idea with people.
Some found it risky, to which he replied that “We have nothing to lose, and only to gain at this stage, so why not take this risk”
Many feared about profits, to which he replied, “Friend, we will have less food, but at least won’t die of hunger”
Some thought it won’t be able to compete in the market, where the big sharks had taken a major share already, to this he said “who wants to have competition with them, I want to just teach quality education and make my family and my students future better”
……..
To all the odds, he heard. To all fears he encountered, he just smiled on them.
And then one day, in a 2 room office, his dream began, he started his coaching classes.
He did branding? No.
Did he ask students, from his end? No.
He just started, informing all that he is ready to teach again on his own. And people started to come in, all those who knew him, not only as a tutor but also as a person.
With a chair by the side of the toilet, where he counselled the students coming to him, and a classroom where he took lectures, he began his journey again with a small bunch of students.
……..
With time, his name spread, people began to know that he is there still teaching, and his institute grew. He changed his office, not once but twice as the number of students continued to increase. And the thing that never changed was his humour. Whatever it was, his talks started with some humorous comment which made people around him laugh first and then the conversation would begin. He became the centre of attraction without moving from the very place where he actually stood.
And the time came when he again became the best of his field as he was back then and always was. The institute reached the heights in education, his students delivered the best results and his name was at the top.
But what was a uniqueness that made him different from other people?
…….
It was his persona. Students respected him for his teachings, but they loved him more for what a person he was. With his pure heart and his frankness with students, he became everybody’s friend cum teacher. Whenever anyone meets him, he was not only there for your doubts about career but he was there for doubts about life.
Students discussed with him their personal matters because he had formed such a trustworthy bond with them. Batches formed, students passed and went ahead to desired colleges, but not a single one of them forgot him. Whenever anyone got the chance to visit him, they surely did, and he was there to greet him with the same warmth and love.
Till this day
You go to him, and he will smile with you and crack jokes like a friend. You meet him seeking career advice and he will be your mentor, you ask him to doubt and he will be your teacher and Discuss personal matters and he will become your guardian.
He believed in the idea “To Act instead to react”, and said that instead of wasting time in criticizing our past, why not to look at our present and try for a better future, and so each bad past always was ignored. Taught the great principles of life in the simplest form.
“He sent many to the colleges where we learn the art to master in business and himself taught the art to master in personal life.”
Knowing him, you learn many things.
……
He believes whatever it is going on, it will be definitely better if not best someday.
Whatever you are going through personally, you don’t have the right to depress others with that as you owe some sense of happiness to others to. So irrespective of troubles keep smiling; troubles will end, but being depressed till the end of the troubles, eventually makes you lose your smile for at least that much time. You meet him any day, but you can never realize that whether he is going through tough times or not. He will always begin and end the meet with a laugh.
His ideas inspired people to live a better life.
Thoughts made many a better person.
His suggestions became a rule, which was unquestionably followed.
Trust on him, reached beyond par.
Whether it was education or personal issues he always guided as if we were someone his closed ones.
What would have had happened, if after quitting he would leave bewildered and confused only. Would he be able to reach this position where he reached? No.
….
He reached because he never stopped.
Reached because he had pure intentions,
He reached because he loved truly.
Reached because he was true to himself and to others.
He reached because of dared.
It has been more than 3 years, of his institute and you meet him today, and you will see that he is still the same. Any time surrounded by students, guiding them, solving their doubts, listening to their issues.
A teacher, a mentor, a guide, a friend, a philosopher and especially a true gentleman that’s how Shri. Rajesh Jha is described and he continues to live the life the way it should actually be lived.
—(@ ramta Jogi)
Short Story: Life Blog
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When “Moving On” can hold you back
Moving On | The Huffington Post
There exists a world as seen by us. Each of us is a minuscule part of that world, and we are all struggling. We think about hardships, relationships, unfulfilled aims and many other things which in some way or the other are not acceptable to us, but still, we live with them and carry on, accepting that some things will never change.
But our world doesn’t end there. Inside of us exists another world, a world larger than the one outside. In this inner world, our thoughts are felt in a deeper way. It’s a world where pessimistic thoughts give way to the hope that there will be better days if we only wait for them. This is the world of hope and patience.
We are a part of a fast-paced and dynamic ecosystem where our wishes are fulfilled through a mere touch of a smartphone screen. Our relationships are public property, to be “shared” with friends and strangers. Often times, love begins, progresses and even ends on social networking sites. We hardly have the time to think about what went wrong or how to make amends or learn from mistakes. The mantra is to “move on” and forget all about past experiences.
But is it truly possible for us to move on from each and every action, aim, past, guilt or regret?
Can we really forget that past which we once thought held the key to our future?
The answer is NO. It is not possible to move on.
The striking thing about humans is that we never grow up. Our looks change, expressions change, habits change but one thing remains the same. It’s our heart. At 25, our heart is just the way it was when we were five. A five-year-old child cries for whatever it is he wants, regardless of how realistic it is to expect that wish to be fulfilled. All the child knows is that something felt good and it must be had. Twenty years on from then, nothing changes. We crave for things, for people whom we love but are far from us. Try to grasp at them and when they slip away, we feel very low even if we don’t show it. We tend to move on superficially, but our heart seldom keeps up.
Similar things happen when we are in love. We have good days in love to cherish and bad days to regret. There are times when we feel stuck in circumstances and patterns of behavior and things refuse to go the way we want. We don’t know what to do. In such situations we can only wait and hope for things to get back on track.
But after a while we start to lose hope. Our patience disappears. And we give up. It is difficult, it is painful, it is harsh to give up on something which we actually loved and desperately wanted. We start acting as if we have left the love behind and we are just fine. But the fact is we are not. Inside us, the wish for this love to return continues to linger.
So if we can’t let go of someone or something in our minds, why do we abandon all hope of actually getting them?
What we fail to realize in such scenarios is that there are things which take time. Certain phase does change, many people do come around, and many times things definitely move in our direction — if not now, then later. Never ever regret your past, and if it is worth regretting, then never let it be your past.
To move on, to give up, to succumb to exhaustion will never give us what we truly want. We craved, we tried, we waited, we even prayed… and then what? We stopped hoping, we stopped waiting, and yet certain desires stayed even as others came and were lost.
Why not be patient and hope?
The world never belonged to the people who ran fast and jumped from one thing to another because the first attempt took too much time. The world always belonged to the people who trusted their love, their belief in their work, waited patiently and saw what was wrong with what they were doing, made changes and continued to improve instead of changing their beliefs and aims. That’s what made them reach their highs.
Our life is based on the hope of survival. We don’t know how long we will be alive, but still we breathe. Still we hope to live long, we have the patience to wait until it all ends. We think, act and take measures, but in the end hope and patience are integral parts of whatever we do.
Don’t let the hope in you die, don’t let the patience slip away.
Moving On | The Huffington Post
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Published at : Huffington Post
http://www.huffingtonpost.in/aakash-joshi/the-world-of-hope-and-pat_b_8477096.html
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I am a coward |Article |The Huffington Post
I am a coward | Article | The Huffington Post
I respect women; actively participate in candlelight marches for rape victims. I write Facebook posts supporting women’s empowerment and liberation; project myself as a man of the changing world and try to embody its evolved approach towards women.
I strongly believe that no woman deserves to be attacked or humiliated for any reason: not for the clothes she wears or for how late at night she chooses to be out. She is still the same person with the same dignity and self-respect that she is at noon or midnight, in a mini-skirt or sari. These are my views. Yet, when I introspect and look into the depths of my heart, I realize I don’t believe enough in my own beliefs.
When after a tiring day at work, I make my way back to my home, I sometimes go over my own convictions, which I often relay passionately to other people. But have I convinced myself enough? As I knock the door of my home and see my mother’s face, the confusion lifts and I get my answer.
I am a coward.
I am a man who fears everything. A man who waxes eloquent (with full sincerity) on women’s liberation, but finds it difficult to practice what he preaches in his own home.
When I reach home late at night and don’t find my sister there, I start calling her, asking her whereabouts and when she will return. I stare alternately at the wall clock and door until she comes home. It gets worse. Sometimes, I ask my mother to adjust her sari more modestly when she goes out and I am uncomfortable when my love’s top has a low neckline or threatens to reveal her midriff.
To the outer world, I project myself as an open-minded person. I tell the women in my life that they are free to do what they want; as and when they want, but deep in my mind and heart I don’t feel the same. I do not try to restrict them from doing anything but I do keep a careful watch on their actions. I know this might be wrong and irritating for them many times. They might get upset with me or even feel embarrassed by my behaviour. Yet, I cannot help myself because I know what the men on the street are like and that I cannot exercise any control over them. The only thing the men out there need is an excuse. I really don’t want the women who are a part of my life to be that excuse.
That there is a mindset problem in India is well-documented. Irrespective of how much we learn, we see or we practice, we men tend to have an inflated sense of self, a feeling of superiority just by dint of our gender. We find it challenging to accept that a woman can be better than us or outperform us. Even the concept of equality doesn’t sit quite right. As a result, many men feel that it is their duty towards their gender to bring down women a peg or two, reduce them to victims.
Published in : The Huffington Post
I too am a man residing in the same culture, with many of the same influences. I am the same guy who, along with his friends, stares at a “hot” girl walking on the road. But of course I won’t lose control of my mind and body and force myself on a girl. I know my limits. I too have a family and when I see them, I take my limits in a more serious way.
Life is a complete cycle. The way I see society and the opposite gender is the same way society looks at my home, my sister, my mother and also at my love. This realisation makes me fearful. It makes me mend my actions and my way of looking at the world.
I don’t think that women will ever be truly empowered until men are. Until the way we think changes, our progress will always be incomplete, the road to equality half-paved.
But right at this moment I am a frightened man. I am frightened of society. I fear for my family. To deal with that fear I keep tabs on them, stop them from doing certain things, stop them from going to certain places and stop them from going out after a certain time. This is not because I think they are weak, but because I want them to be safe. I love them, I care for them. I can be open-minded and embrace every definition of freedom out there, but deep inside I know I cannot change because my love and fear for them will not let me. If this makes me a coward, then I am one.
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URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.in/aakash-joshi/i-a-coward-man_b_8017382.html
