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The photograph | Short story | Love
The photograph | Short story | Love
-Revealing the Un-revealed
The Beginning
On the table were lying memories. Different pictures captured at different times, different age and with different people, each telling a story of its own. Ananya gazed at them all as if she was living them in her eyes there and then yet again. But it was difficult; it was her past, unheard by many around her, in her presence. Some she had forgotten about, and some she desperately wanted to forget. This was not the first time she was going through these pictures. She wanted to know why many of her precious moments ended and still, she was happy with her life. She searched for her curiosity amongst those memories.
There was a photograph of her with Anant; her boyfriend during schooldays whom she had met for the first time in Dehradun. A tall, dark and handsome guy with whom she fell in love the very first time they met and dream of a life together. They were just 17. Love seldom showcases understanding, sometimes it just creates an aura of happiness. The same aura, Ananya was living in, then. The surrounding was blurred to them. She had her first kiss with him. Time went by and maturity knocked the doors, teenage was about to end. Who did what? Was that right? Who was wrong? What mattered and whatnot, everything needed a justification. Things began to change slowly and were never the same.
Memories
She picked up another photograph; Anuja, her best friend at college, who always stood by her in her highs and lows. Enjoyed with her in the hay-days and cried in her sorrow. She was her sole support in the 3 years of college at Delhi. Anuja and Ananya spent most of their time gossiping together. But as she began to realize what her life was meant for and what she should do to make it worthwhile, her priorities changed and so did the people around her. With her changed approach, she had to juggle her life between her best friend and her future, ultimately the relation did not work out.With her eyes wet, she kept the photograph down and searched for something which could make her smile.
She picked up the photo of her teddy bear, which made her wonder who gifted it to her. It was Ansh, her online friend. She met him on a social networking site, who made his way into her life, first through Whats App and then through Skype. At that time, she was working in Kolkata, which also happened to be her hometown. At this stage, she did not want a relationship but was eager to keep herself engaged in some activity apart from work.
Marriage was not on her cards at least for the next 2 years and so came Ansh. She met Ansh, and gradually their proximity grew. She dated him for a year. When she was with him, she felt liberated. She lost herself within him. She lived this phase of life. It made her more mature and independent. In an effort to feel free, she missed the part of understanding the person in her life. Her constraints of not entering in a relationship and still to be with Ansh confused her and that confused her relationship with hi. She never convinced herself and so knowingly or unknowingly things ended yet again.
Finally, she kept the pictures aside.
She realized how something that was once a part of her, does not exist today. Whether it was her first kiss in school with Anant, her sloshed state with Anuja, or losing her virginity with Ansh; each moment was an integral part of her life, which added some spice, excitement and thrill to her life and made her feel ecstatic. But none lasted. Going through the scattered set of pictures she realized how it was not the end in a true sense.
They always changed their direction and got lost somewhere, with a hope of returning in future. She slowly began to feel good that how she should not be sad as nothing had actually ended in the real sense. The end comes with the closure of certain things or certain people in your life. But that is what the dilemma of life is; the only thing that ends in life is life, rest everything continues, either in present or in memories of the past or in the hope of a better and brighter future.
Finally..
She was neither regretting them nor was she satisfied with letting them wave off in the ocean and reaching different shores. Instead, she understood how the memories that the pictures brought back were to make her understand the importance of time and how in each phase of life, each experience mattered and did well to her without affecting her present.
She searched through them once again, and a picture brought a smile to her face finally. Bringing it close to her and kissed it. She found an empty photo frame. She made her way towards it and put a picture in it. It was of her and her husband with whom she had an arranged marriage. She just had spent over a year with him but still, he was very important to her. What was the thing which made her choose him over others, she never understood?
She didn’t understand whether she loved him more than Anant or Ansh. Whether she was guilty of not telling him about her past, she never thought of it. She was finally happy with the answers she got. She understood there will be no end to any of the relations she lived; the only end will be that they will be one of these clicked pictures and she wanted to be clicked with a smiling face.
The door knocked, and she realized it was her husband, keeping all the pictures back in the old bag; where she thought the pictures actually belong and leaving them in the storeroom, she went to open the door.
@ramta jogi
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Childhood | English Poetry
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The Box | Short Story
The Box | Short Story
The clock was about to strike noon. Every face had supposedly come with the same purpose in mind, and it is the first day, seemed supposedly motivated. The eyes of all focused on a common wall. As time passed by, the motivation diluted. Most people’s eyes stared at the wall blankly, and with utter disregard, their minds were lost in the thoughts of their favourite TV shows, favourite food and favourite superheroes. There were some who resisted the trains of their thoughts and focused on the primary reason why they were there.
His eyes wandered. Sometimes he would see the light, then the fan and then came down towards those who sat around him. His eyes finally rested in the right corner of the room just next to the exit door. Even the one side view was good enough to bring a smile on his face.
…..
The birthmark beneath her nose complemented perfectly her face and the star-like shine in her eyes. The constant movement of her lips as if talking to herself, made him laugh. Almost as a tradition followed religiously by everyone there, she too was busy doodling something. Her hair was perfectly in place, with just a small strand of it coming on her face which she tucked behind her ear from time to time. Her dress was similar to other girls in the room but astonishingly suited her the most.
She turned around casually and for him at that very moment, it all seemed right, altogether. Seeing him staring at her continuously she was at first taken aback. Wondering why the guy was doing so, she stared back at him changing her facial expression again and again. This didn’t stop him, instead, he looked at her with more curiosity. It seemed fun and he enjoyed doing it even more!
…..
In a room that was full of strangers, he made a sweet gesture by waving his hand and asking her to come near and take the seat next to him. She didn’t seem to be amused by his friendliness and looked away from him to concentrate on her doodling. Clueless, he started to stare at other people in the room, but again, his eyes went back to the same corner. A few minutes later, she turned her head towards him. Something was going on in her mind, she couldn’t help being inclined towards the only guy who seemed to care about her existence in the room. This time, she smiled back at him. As they say, a smile is contagious, hence both of them began to do the same.
The distance between them didn’t allow them to hear what the other was saying. Their eyes did the talking, some questions were asked, and they were answered through some gestures which only they could understand. The smiles symbolized affirmation. Finally, the clock struck 1 PM. The bell rang, the lecture was over. The teacher left the room. The students of class 5th B opened their bags and with their lunch boxes rushed towards the playground to enjoy it with their friends. She stood from her place with her lunch box and went towards his seat. He unzipped his bag, took out some chocolates and offered them to her.
….
“Lunch box?” she asked.
“Parents are out of town. So no lunch box today” he replied.
“No issues, you can share mine” said she.
Both smiled and ate the food.
Years passed, the students of 5th grade became adults and stayed together. He never brought his lunch box for all these years and his bag kept producing chocolates every day for her.
May be the lunch box bonded them better than a cup of coffee could have!
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Childhood | English Poetry
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The Reminiscence of love |Short Story |Love
The Reminiscence of love |Short Story |Love
And there she was, dressed in an orange bridal suit. As elegant and composed as ever. There was a familiar smile on her face which kept him staring at her. The stage, whose beauty she enhanced, perfectly complimented her. The wedding ring on her finger, shining; reflected her happiness. He always had dreamt her this way. Back then, many times both of them even discussed how this very day, that meant so much to them will look like. Now, looking at the picture of her sitting on stage was mesmerizing. For him, it was as good as reality.
Yes! She was engaged. Not with him though!!
With whom? How? Why?
May be these questions and the answers to the matter no more. They are insignificant now. She’s gone. She has left, leaving lots of memories behind for him, to live a happy and joyful marital life.
They weren’t in a relationship. They were just together. Not for benefits, but just for the sake of giving time to their friendship, just to see if they can go beyond it, just to see if things can work out and if something can bind them together.
But it didn’t. At some point, things came to a standstill. She moved on. She settled abroad. Years passed, their friendship moved through stages of crests and troughs. A couple of years later, she got committed to a smart guy whom she found suitable enough to spend the rest of her life with.
The moment she told him about her commitment, it detached him from himself, creating a void in him. It made him realize that subconsciously, he was living just with hope. Hope for a better future. A hope where they can be together forever.
His heart broke like the scattered raindrops which never come together. Even if these raindrops make an attempt to join, they actually flow downwards and fall apart. His heart was numb. Thoughtless, lifeless.
Later, he thought to himself that maybe they weren’t destined to go this far. Maybe it was his fault. It was less of “him” in “them”. Maybe it was more of “feeling” the love than “expressing” it. Maybe he took it for granted rather than trying to make the love special. It made him feel guilty for whatever happened or for whatever could have happened but didn’t. It made him cry.
But today things don’t matter anymore. She calls him to ask whether or not he is alright? She asks why they don’t talk the way they used to? Why doesn’t he behave the way he used to? Where is their friendship lost? Where is he lost? Why doesn’t he attend the functions of their common friends? She asks many questions. But as mentioned before, things don’t matter now. He hopes that in due course of time she will realize that such questions don’t have an impact on him anymore. They don’t need to be answered. They are self-explanatory.
Soon she will understand that they have to live different lives with beautiful futures and a past which is better forgotten.
She has to accept that between them it will never be the same again. He won’t blame her for the fact that their future won’t be the same as their past was but he has to move on. It will be tough, it will be hard but it has to be done.
He also understands that this phase will be just for some time. Things will change and people will accept the past. The talks will become rare, and gradually, end and this end will be understood by both.
Perhaps, in future they will be exchanging smiles once again. When they will meet somewhere, they might even exchange warm hugs as well. Occasional talks and laughing on the past will also be a part of future. But today, distancing is the most logical solution.
On his laptop, seeing her engagement picture on her profile makes him feel happy. He wishes the best for her. He has his life ahead and regretting about what he has lost doesn’t seem to be a fitting thing to do. But one fact will stay with him forever, the fact that unknowingly and definitely unwillingly, he lost her.
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The smile that lasted | Life Blog | Youth Ki Awaaz
The smile that lasted | Youth Ki Awaaz
“Sometimes LOVE has no words, it has just SMILE”
In Youth Ki Awaaz comes my latest article.A story of love, loss, grief and a smile.
Beginning
I met Anant when I was in 6th grade. A very smart person with decent looks, Anant made for a talkative, naughty and charming classmate. He had a smile which impressed many and helped him make quite a few friends. With each passing grade, we became the best of buddies.
However, when college started, I moved to a different city and phone became the only way to stay connected with my childhood friend. During his college days, he met a girl named Tia – his good looking and charming classmate. Their relationship started with a close friendship and progressed to love. And within the second year of their course, the two of them were in a committed relationship. Whenever I visited my hometown, I would make it a point to meet the two of them. Somehow, I always felt that Anant’s smile was what kept them glued together.
Time passed, and we had reached what you could call the marriageable age. Anant and Tia now had 6 years of togetherness to fall back on. In a generation which has the power to end relations by simply sending a message; where people change with the blink of an eye, here I was witnessing two amateurs who were still dedicatedly in love. They knew each other inside out. Whether it was the happy side or the miserable one, their understanding of each other was what made their bond so extraordinary.
They spoke to their parents about getting married – argued and fought but stayed adamant in not letting go of each other. Somehow they knew that love is something which can be and should be fought for. Before I knew it, I was preparing the invitation cards for the guests. A day I wanted to witness for so long had finally arrived.
The middle
In the midst of happiness what we forget is the temporarily of our emotions. Nothing lasts longer than it is destined to. We are animals of hope, and that’s what keeps us going. One and a half years after Anant and Tia’s wedding, I got a call. Waking me up from an afternoon nap, I picked up Anant’s call only to have an unknown voice speak to me –
“Hi, Brother. This is Raj. Our sister-in-law Tia is no more. Her rituals are to be performed at 11:30 today.”
The phone left me in a state of shock. I was not sure what and how to react. Sitting isolated in my dorm in a different city so far away, I felt incapable of doing anything that would make things better. I called my parents and friends and asked them to reach Anant’s place at the earliest.
And then I was crying. Only to try and hold back my tears and be strong the next moment. All those 6 years of knowing Tia was running through my mind. All the short and sweet memories I had with her and, moreover, with them will now be permanently stained with the sorrow of death.
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It took me hours to realize what Anant might be going through. People asked me to talk to him, but it was just not possible for me to do so. Maybe I was scared of witnessing the pain and harsh reality in his voice. I never understood why people often try to console and stop others from crying during such situations. One must shed their share of tears before the wound heals. I didn’t call him for many days. I couldn’t.
My parents told me that Tia had been suffering from a lung infection. And as fate would have it, Anant had to move to a different city for his work at around the same time. He would return to the city only on weekends to meet Tia. During the last week when things got worse and she was admitted to the hospital, he could only return by the time she had permanently made peace with his absence.
My parents said they found it overwhelmingly difficult to face Anant at his home. His eyes were swollen with the constant crying. He was not able to carry himself without the support of others. My mother also cried seeing his plight; pitying his loss at such an early age.
Conclusion
I was not able to imagine what Anant might have felt seeing his companion lying lifeless on the hospital bed, not opening her eyes one last time. I blamed fate, destiny and life and never understood what mistake that 25-year-old girl could have committed.
And what about Anant? Wasn’t this when he was supposed to enjoy life with his love instead of losing everything like this? I cried for days, feeling sorry for all that had happened. I felt sorry that Anant had lost the love which had held him together in times of sorrow and pain; the love which cheered him in his success. The one who was the reason for him to grow and achieve more was now no more. These past 7 years, Anant and Tia had created memories and lived a life of dreams that suddenly all ended in ashes.
3 weeks later, I returned to the city deciding to meet Anant that very night. We sat facing each other, barely talking; not once daring to mention Tia. We exchanged an awkward smile aware more than ever of the huge void she had left behind her. A void that was now filled rather oddly by an inanimate garlanded photo frame, propped in between our sofas. One that froze her in a single moment complete with her bridal suit and smiling face. We glanced at her photo, looked at each other and could only fall silent again.
Maybe it was still the smile playing charmingly on their faces that was keeping them together even now.
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The Forgotten Love | Modern Love|Life Blog
The Forgotten Love | Modern Love
Pre-Marriage
And somewhere in the midst of two villages a jeep carrying a few passengers stopped. In the scorching heat of summer, the passengers came out and asked the sugarcane vendor for some glasses of juice. He delivered them. The men from the jeep offered the glasses to the women sitting inside. Some belonged to the family of the men outside and some were unknown. One of the men offered a glass to a shy lady among them. She took the glass oblivious of who it was that had offered it to her. The journey continued and they reached their village. The man went to his home and the lady who he had offered the glass of juice to went to her maternal uncle’s place.
A couple of days later the girl’s maternal uncle was invited to meet an educated guy who works in Calcutta (now Kolkata) and had come down to his village. He was looking for a bride. So, if they were interested, the family of that young man would like to meet them. The girls’ maternal family responded to it positively and so, asked the girl’s father, who belonged to a different village, to come over. They then went to the young man’s home to ask him and his family to visit and meet the prospective bride.
The elders from the boy’s side came, saw the girl, had a long chat with elders and left. The girl’s family was not sure about the answer they would get. The boy’s family were worried since they thought that the girl was extremely thin and joked that she would get blown away even in a small wind storm. But later, the boy was asked his opinion and he agreed. The date of the wedding was fixed.
The courtship period began as he left for Calcutta for his job. Letters were exchanged and the occasional telephone calls also began between them. Six months passed this way. Now the marriage was announced and invitation cards were printed.
Post Marriage
She shifted from her house to his home and her new life began. Soon after the marriage, he went back to the city for his job while she stayed back in the village. He increased his visits to his village and she, on the other hand, made it her duty to get to know his family better and form good relations with them. A couple of years later she shifted with him to Calcutta.
It was a different city, a different culture. She started learning and adapting to everything. With the passage of time, they learnt more about each other. A decent, innocent and short-tempered guy and a simple village girl with simpler dreams and aspirations. But both were pure and pious at heart and only wanted happiness in life. This was what brought them together. For them, a grand life, luxuries, and extreme riches were never priorities in life. They wanted to have a good life with their family. That is all.
They used to go out sometimes. Laugh, fight but, eventually, their day would end with both of them lying together on a single mattress with one pillow. Life was not easy for them. To survive in a big city for village people with small aspirations is always a difficult task. But their support for each other from the very beginning was what kept them going. They faced many struggles, but like on a boat in a sea storm, a hand in your hand gives you way more confidence than the fright you get from the vicious waves of water. They survived and life went on.
Present Day..
They are my parents. My mom and my dad. 28 years have passed. They wake up at 7:30 in the morning. When he wakes up early, he disturbs her peaceful sleep because he hates sitting alone. Later he goes to the kitchen and prepares tea for her, to have a reason to wake her up.
She wakes up and quarrels with him for disturbing her sleep yet again. Both take a newspaper in hand and start sipping their morning tea. She finishes her tea, and he always leaves two sips of tea in the cup for her. She gets angry that he never finishes his tea. He jokingly gives the same answer which he has been giving for 20 odd years, that he has left that much for her out of love. She throws a tantrum but takes the cup and finishes it.
He leaves for office and she gets engrossed in her work. By the time he returns from work, they have already spoken four times on the phone. Their conversations may take the form of arguments, discussions, teasing but often include a lot of laughter.
He comes back, asks where the children are and has dinner with them. Post dinner, they again take a couple of hours, to sum up, their day to each other.
Their old letters are preserved in a locker. Their old memories still make them laugh out loud. The struggles they faced still fill their eyes with tears. Yet, looking at each other gives them strength. All this makes their love grow stronger.
And here we are on the other side. It seems to me that we have all the modes of communication but nothing to talk about. We argue and fight over petty issues and instead of sorting them out, we sort the other person out of our life. Missing someone is rarely a thing now. Moving on is the latest trend. Understanding and feeling are lost and replaced by the term ‘practicality’. Struggles separate rather than bring two persons together. “Things didn’t work out between us” is a valid argument to end a relationship.
I feel we have become more isolated in this generation even with the best of means to survive. We seek love everywhere even as love has become so easy to find. Happiness seems to be depreciating as our lifestyles improve.
Maybe, this shows that love doesn’t need any of it. It is a belief. All those who believe, thrive. The remaining strive.
Published at Youth ki awaaz
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