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The smile that lasted | Life Blog | Youth Ki Awaaz
The smile that lasted | Youth Ki Awaaz
“Sometimes LOVE has no words, it has just SMILE”
In Youth Ki Awaaz comes my latest article.A story of love, loss, grief and a smile.
Beginning
I met Anant when I was in 6th grade. A very smart person with decent looks, Anant made for a talkative, naughty and charming classmate. He had a smile which impressed many and helped him make quite a few friends. With each passing grade, we became the best of buddies.
However, when college started, I moved to a different city and phone became the only way to stay connected with my childhood friend. During his college days, he met a girl named Tia – his good looking and charming classmate. Their relationship started with a close friendship and progressed to love. And within the second year of their course, the two of them were in a committed relationship. Whenever I visited my hometown, I would make it a point to meet the two of them. Somehow, I always felt that Anant’s smile was what kept them glued together.
Time passed, and we had reached what you could call the marriageable age. Anant and Tia now had 6 years of togetherness to fall back on. In a generation which has the power to end relations by simply sending a message; where people change with the blink of an eye, here I was witnessing two amateurs who were still dedicatedly in love. They knew each other inside out. Whether it was the happy side or the miserable one, their understanding of each other was what made their bond so extraordinary.
They spoke to their parents about getting married – argued and fought but stayed adamant in not letting go of each other. Somehow they knew that love is something which can be and should be fought for. Before I knew it, I was preparing the invitation cards for the guests. A day I wanted to witness for so long had finally arrived.
The middle
In the midst of happiness what we forget is the temporarily of our emotions. Nothing lasts longer than it is destined to. We are animals of hope, and that’s what keeps us going. One and a half years after Anant and Tia’s wedding, I got a call. Waking me up from an afternoon nap, I picked up Anant’s call only to have an unknown voice speak to me –
“Hi, Brother. This is Raj. Our sister-in-law Tia is no more. Her rituals are to be performed at 11:30 today.”
The phone left me in a state of shock. I was not sure what and how to react. Sitting isolated in my dorm in a different city so far away, I felt incapable of doing anything that would make things better. I called my parents and friends and asked them to reach Anant’s place at the earliest.
And then I was crying. Only to try and hold back my tears and be strong the next moment. All those 6 years of knowing Tia was running through my mind. All the short and sweet memories I had with her and, moreover, with them will now be permanently stained with the sorrow of death.
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It took me hours to realize what Anant might be going through. People asked me to talk to him, but it was just not possible for me to do so. Maybe I was scared of witnessing the pain and harsh reality in his voice. I never understood why people often try to console and stop others from crying during such situations. One must shed their share of tears before the wound heals. I didn’t call him for many days. I couldn’t.
My parents told me that Tia had been suffering from a lung infection. And as fate would have it, Anant had to move to a different city for his work at around the same time. He would return to the city only on weekends to meet Tia. During the last week when things got worse and she was admitted to the hospital, he could only return by the time she had permanently made peace with his absence.
My parents said they found it overwhelmingly difficult to face Anant at his home. His eyes were swollen with the constant crying. He was not able to carry himself without the support of others. My mother also cried seeing his plight; pitying his loss at such an early age.
Conclusion
I was not able to imagine what Anant might have felt seeing his companion lying lifeless on the hospital bed, not opening her eyes one last time. I blamed fate, destiny and life and never understood what mistake that 25-year-old girl could have committed.
And what about Anant? Wasn’t this when he was supposed to enjoy life with his love instead of losing everything like this? I cried for days, feeling sorry for all that had happened. I felt sorry that Anant had lost the love which had held him together in times of sorrow and pain; the love which cheered him in his success. The one who was the reason for him to grow and achieve more was now no more. These past 7 years, Anant and Tia had created memories and lived a life of dreams that suddenly all ended in ashes.
3 weeks later, I returned to the city deciding to meet Anant that very night. We sat facing each other, barely talking; not once daring to mention Tia. We exchanged an awkward smile aware more than ever of the huge void she had left behind her. A void that was now filled rather oddly by an inanimate garlanded photo frame, propped in between our sofas. One that froze her in a single moment complete with her bridal suit and smiling face. We glanced at her photo, looked at each other and could only fall silent again.
Maybe it was still the smile playing charmingly on their faces that was keeping them together even now.
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My Family Ignore The Messages Wishing ‘Happy Women’s Day’ | Life Blog
Happy Women’s Day | Life Blog |
Like any other morning, this morning started with the usual course of activities at our home. It was a pretty normal day for me and everyone else in the house. They began their work and I started mine. We had breakfast together and dispersed off on our routines.
So what’s the difference between today and any other day?
Just a few additional things happened today. The inbox of these women was flooded with some 40 odd messages. The newspapers, both online and offline, were full of articles portraying different perceptions people held for this day. Facebook was full of images with the message of “Happy Women’s Day” and about a hundred women tagged on each of them.
My family..
My mother saw the messages, but didn’t reply, instead she put the phone aside and went to the kitchen. Sister marked each one of the messages and deleted them all at once. My crush didn’t even bother opening them. She preferred being offline. All of them untagged themselves from those posts on social media.
It is not that they don’t respect the achievements of women and their contribution to the world; or that they don’t appreciate initiatives for women empowerment. But making women feel so very important and special on this particular day through messages and wishes and labelling this day as the “International Women’s Day” just doesn’t suit their, or my, understanding.
Sitting with them and talking to them about this day made me realize the fact that making them feel special on this day is irrelevant. By showing unusual respect, or taking them out for dinner, gifting them the things they love is not really something they would necessarily like. These things are just meant to pretend to the outer world; that we have a positive approach towards women and we respect them and treat them with equality. But what we fail to realize is that just showing isn’t equivalent to feeling the same from the core of our hearts.
8th of March
Has been marked as “International Women’s Day” since the 1900s to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity. However, the sensitivity that is associated with the issue of women empowerment and parity can be judged from the fact that it’s been over a hundred years and we still need a “Women’s Day” to respect women and treat them well. Whereas, it is the approach towards women for the entire year that should define the celebration of this day on the 8th of March.
Let’s all question ourselves – are women safe and secure around us? Are they given rights equal to men? If yes, then are they actually able to exercise those rights? Do we treat them equally in our minds and hearts as well? And, will women be treated better for the rest of the year until the next women’s day?
Conclusion
Trying to answer these questions yields more doubts in our minds rather than answers. Hence, we avoid them. The fact that we don’t have answers to these questions signifies; how “happy” this day must be for the women around us.
The entire year goes in satisfying the ‘male’ ego. Satisfying the urge of being the ‘superior’ gender through rapes, molestation and public humiliations. Suddenly on the 8th of March, we treat the same “inferior” gender as goddesses!Birthdays are not celebrated only because you were born on that day; but also because you survived a year more and for all the learning and understandings you developed in that year. Similarly, we forget that the entire year, women have been treated badly. Whether we consider it at national platforms or even at our homes.
People argue that women are being treated well and are being given equal opportunities; on the basis of a sample space that hardly forms 5-10 per cent of the entire population. But what they neglect is the way they are treated in the rest of the space. Providing a handful of women with opportunities and a stand in the society; when a majority is being objectified or a means to get a dowry, and are being deprived of even the basic human rights is not something to be termed as women empowerment and felt proud of.
Observation
Do the wishes count? Do they change the perception and understanding of men towards women? Does the standing of women in society become the way she wants it to be? and not the way the egoistic male wants? When the answer to all of them is No, then how can we say that the wishes of a happy women’s day are even valid? It is all a myth.
A day cannot solve the plight of women in the mind of the entire society. What I contend is that we should mend our behaviour in a way that we no longer need the crutch of a “Women’s Day” to treat females fairly and equally.
Published on: Youth Ki Awaaz
Happy Women’s Day | Life Blog |
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