The path always beautifies the journey but it’s the destination that justifies it. We are a generation in a hurry!! This rush, knowingly or unknowingly, is making us a Fad generation. Whether it is a trend, technology, objects, or even emotions, everything withers away in no time.
We use things, boast about them, enjoy them and suddenly when a better option pops out, we replace them. The ones that are lost get stored in the spam folder of our brain, which is rarely opened again in the future.
We don’t like the repetition of things that has lost the touch or feel and more importantly that has been replaced by something. We don’t regret them. We have been habituated to go with the flow and let go of things abruptly as and when they become redundant.
We belong to the era of logging out rather than deactivating things. Like in an application where we delete the app from our cell-phone, rather than deactivating it from the source, even when we very well understand that we don’t really need it and nor will we be requiring it in future. A similar scenario goes on with objects, people and emotions as well.
At times, when relations don’t work out, when emotional understanding fails to match and compatibility withers away, we tend to stop there and run away. Instead of suffocating in it we eventually move on. We declare it as our past.
We block it from our lives. We start ignoring it from time to time; stop talking about it, discussing it. We move into the new vibes, new people in the same old world. We start making ourselves comfortable with them and believe that the past no longer belongs to us. We create an artificial bubble around us, just to show the surrounding and convince ourselves that we are in a different zone altogether.
But whom are we fooling?
Still, somehow our profile pictures keep on changing in relation to our old memories; our passwords still have dates of our first anniversaries. Stalking the profiles of the ones who no longer belong to us, just to be updated with what is going with them and many such things keep us subconsciously with them. When another moment of love comes with someone else, we doubt, we tend to behave a bit awkward.
We feel a bit weird, and a comparison to the past erupts. This is because, inside us, we know that something is incomplete. In the presence of the society, online and offline we act as if we have agreed to the past and have made an understanding with it. But deep down we know that the closure is still left. We have not agreed with ourselves that the past is gone. We have not witnessed it in our present and accepted it.
Instead, we just ran away from it. We have kept things in us, still moving. We hoped and believed that the future is unknown to us and so it is better to leave the confused past unchanged in the present so that we can twist the future accordingly as and when needed. We have kept things open to avoid the pain and still are trying to move on. We have just avoided Closure.
What we undermine is the very acceptance of the thought that we are not what we are as long as our present is entangled with the fluctuations of the past. Our past has been ceased. It has ended. It cannot fluctuate or move at random in our present. This is unsatisfying. Justifying a present that has the shades of past still lingering on it in an abrupt manner is not a justified present. Good or bad whatever that past was is not even something to ponder upon.
It makes us look weak. It is an unhealthy condition. It makes us numb and guilty at times. We cannot cross the river to create new memories on the other side by staying on the same side of the bridge. The closure is what this generation fails to understand.
By failing to understand this, we end up having depression, trust issues, irrational behavior and dubious states of mind where we cannot even accept the present wholeheartedly and nor can even let go of the past in a positive manner. The conscious or sub-conscious clinging to the past will not justify or define our moving on.
Whatever status you post or philosophies you preach are meaningless until you accept the past and close it. We need to look back to that past; that person, that feeling or that emotion, with whom things will not be the same now and accept it. We have to face the one that is gone. Adapt to the existing and accept the one that is left behind.
We need to accept it as a concrete part of our present. Running away from it by ignoring it is fear and not a solution to it. The life demands a closure; a closure from whatever happened. Moving on without accepting is never closure. We need to embrace the past with understanding and satisfaction. The future will look beautiful only when it will have a past that it still remembers with an acceptance.
Published in The Good Men Project: https://goodmenproject.com/guy-talk/the-generation-missing-the-closure-cmtt/